I was going to title this post “Things I Learned in Mexico.” But these aren’t things I learned; these are things I know. Things I lost perspective of, things I forgot. So voici, the things I remembered in Mexico.
I am A-OK.
Sometimes marinating in a situation that has made you unhappy can be a bit of a rabbit hole. You’re miserable because you are still in the place that made you miserable… and since you are miserable, you stay there. A break and some physical space from it all reminded me that I am fine. I am more than fine; I am fan-fucking-tastic. When my mind is fully on the task at hand, I will kill it. So inviting things, or people or situations into my life that distract and pull me away from the task at hand… well, that’s just stupid. Why would one do that? I did, but now I won’t. I feel good when I’m killing it. The reverse; not so much. And I like to feel good.
Good Friends Can Cure Any Ailment.
Stress. Heartbreak. Fatigue. Confusion. Indecision. Whether beat down from the routine of life (to which I have never responded well anyway) or confused by a parade of questions that don’t seem to settle and answer themselves, I was worked up three weeks ago in a way that I thought even a vacation couldn’t help. I didn’t know what could, but I was annoyed by the cheerful chirps around me that repeated, “you really need this vacation.” In response I thought to myself, “F*** off.” I accepted and dealt with those that treated me less than stellar. Considering I typically do not treat others less than stellar, it is only in a weakened state of mind that I’d put up with it in my direction. But I did. Then I spent a week with phenomenal people. I mean really good people. People who work hard, who treat others like they are important and deserve respect, love and consideration, people who show the ones they love how much they love them. Yes, please, I’ll have some more of that. It reminded me that these people are out there and though the drama of the other side is enticing and exciting, like the Devil, in the long run it will kill you.
It’s ok necessary to relax.
Goodness. I now distinguish between a weekend of laying around (my typical “relaxation”) and a vacation. It took me a couple days to stop asking what time it was or what we were doing next. But I did. I let go. I did whatever, whenever. I stayed in when I wanted, I went out when I wanted (ok, I did push myself to move the “nothingness” to the beach whenever possible rather than stay inside), I ate when I wanted, I slept when I wanted. It was blissful. Pure, pure heavenly bliss. I did most of these things right on the beach, amongst breathtaking scenery and sounds, and hours upon hours would fly by before I knew it. I spent seven straight hours on the beach one day without blinking an eye. I went to bed at about nine that evening, but ohhh was it worth it. It is truly, truly, truly important to make these times possible for ourselves and to give our bodies the chance to rest, let go and rejuvenate. It’s far too easy to say “I don’t have the time,” or “I can’t take the time.” But you do… and you must.
I do, in fact, flourish under the hot sun. But there is such a thing as “too hot.”
Bottom line: I soaked up an insane amount of Vitamin D. I’m seven shades darker than when I arrived in Mexico, which I did very responsibly, thank you very much. Actually, more than 20 minutes in the direct sun had me feeling like a rotisserie chicken, so there was a built-in “I can’t handle it!” timer instilled in me (cured by a dive into the sea). But the warmth of the days and the time I did spend… I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the amount of sunlight affects me. And hopefully I stored up a good supply of the good stuff to last for a while (or enough that I can sustain with the weak Vermont summer sun). It can be too hot though and many times, it was. I stayed near the water for a reason. And I need to see, feel and hear the ocean as much as I need the sun.
And finally… I have it good here. Real good.
I can be Complainy McComplainerton all day long. It’s uniquely possible for those who have it good to find that which ails them. But seeing how poor the people in the Oaxaca region I visited were, yet still so happy and gracious; it gave me a much-needed reality check. It is always a good reminder that “things” and “stuff” are not where it’s at. “Love” and “appreciation” and “hard work” are precisely where it’s at. So upon returning to all of my blessings– a secure roof over my head and four surrounding walls to enclose the building (nope, walls were not the norm in Mexico), personal space and lots of it, all the belongings (and much more) than I could ever need to survive, a job and benefits that keep me occupied, engaged, fed and healthy, friends and family that care… I could continue indefinitely. I am so thankful for these things and it would serve me well to wake up and remember that. Not to think “another day in blah land.”
Summer is here. That’s my peak time of year. This summer I want to truly carpe the living hell out of the diem. To enjoy every second and make the most of every second– whatever that means in the moment. To appreciate those that make my life better and contribute every day. To love Burlington, to be thankful and gracious at my job, to lead rather than drag myself along into the mess.
It ain’t so bad. And if it is… well, stop talking and do something to fix it!
Thank you for reading, cyber universe.
